Thank you I really appreciate it. I know you’re right and I won’t give up. I just get emotionally overwhelmed or numb sometimes and feel like I’m hitting a wall. But it’ll be a alright [:
I feel like I’m not that upset about the rape in itself, as I am that it has made it blatantly obvious that I have no one to rely on. I don’t have anyone, specifically a male, who would actually be affected to know this; upset, angry, to take a protective stand towards it.
I already had issues with the opposite sex and this has just heightened my anxiety on the matter, but instead of shying away in fear because of what happened, I find myself craving someone or something to relieve it. I want someone to save or fix me, which I know can’t happen.
I don’t know. I just feel worthless cause this is another instance that demonstrates I’m only looked at or wanted for my body and nothing else.
Don’t fall in love with a curious one.
They will want to know who you are, where you come from, what your family was like.
They will look through your photographs and read all of your poems. They will come over for dinner and speak to your mother about how their curiosity has taught them things of use to her. They will ask you to rant when you’re angry and cry when you’re hurt.
They will ask what that raised eyebrow meant. They will want to know your favorite food, your favorite color, you favorite person. They will ask why.
They will buy that camera you liked, pay attention to that band you love in case there’s a show near by, they will get you the sweater you smiled at once. They’ll learn to cook your favorite meals.
The curious people don’t settle for your shell, they want the insides.
They want what makes you heavy, what makes you uneasy, what makes you scream
for joy, and anger, and heartbreak.
Their skin will turn into pages
that you learn to pour out your entire being in.
Don’t fall in love with the curious one.
They won’t let a sigh go unexplained.
They will want to know what they did
Exactly what they did to make you love them.
Year, month, week, day.
“What time was it? What did I say? What did I do?
How did you feel?”
Don’t fall in love with a curious one because I’ve been there.
They will unbutton your shirt
and read every scar
They will dissect your every limb, every organ, every thought, every being.
“There’s a curiosity in you that will move mountains some day
as effortlessly as you’ve moved me for years.”
Don’t Fall In Love With The Curious One (via theredmatinee)
This is me. Sometimes I think I’m in love with dissecting and understanding people. Figuring out what makes them tick rather than loving the actual person